Things to do for MomME TIME

Mommy time, does it exist? Having a baby means I don’t get to decide what things to do and when to do them. It all depends on Tala, or if Melo can look after her for a while, or for others if you have another person to handle the baby while you take a breather. Nevertheless, it’s still important to find mommy time even for 30 minutes, to recharge and stay sane.

I’m sharing below my personal list of things I do. It’s worth noting that I’m in the province where the mall is 3 hours away, and we don’t have the other conveniences that city living has. Good thing these are simple activities, doable whether you are in the city or in the countryside.  

TAKE A WARM BATH

This can be as quick as 15 minutes that you have for yourself. It’s top on my list, because during the first few months after giving birth, I consider bath time as the only time of personal peace. What I wasn’t able to do that I suggest you try especially if you’re still in the pregnancy stage is beautify your bathroom. Organize it, put scented candles or incense, even have furry rugs or toilet cover. Have a bluetooth speaker handy so you can listen to your music. We always play lullabies on Spotify for Tala, I kind of missed my music so I play it while taking a bath. Invest on a shower heater if you don’t have one yet. The warm water is really very relaxing to the body.

PICK A TV SERIES TO WATCH WITH YOUR HUSBAND

We were able to add to our routine watching 1-2 episodes every night after we put Tala to bed. Sometimes, we just bring Tala with us if she still hasn’t gone to sleep. This is an easy way of bonding with your husband, an activity you can share together and a good substitute to date night. Just Netflix and chill. Plus we sometimes, drink a bottle of beer or two. And we always have snacks prepared.

BUY YOURSELF YOUR FAVORITE DRINK OR FOOD

My favorite right now is milk tea. We don’t have the popular brands available here. I was so glad when a local cafe opened, and it’s selling milk tea. I buy one whenever we do our errands or when we go to church. It’s like comfort food and sort of a reward you can give yourself. If you can’t go out, good thing there are now food delivery apps in the major cities, so at least there’s that convenient option.

ASK FOR A FREE MASSAGE OR DO A SELF-MASSAGE

Ask your husband for a massage. With all those muscle pain you’re experiencing, you deserve it! The physical touch is also important and beneficial for your relationship. On the other hand, I also do self-massage on my shoulders. I discovered a balm for muscle and pain relief on Lazada. The lavender oil truly helps to relax my tensed muscles and get a good night’s sleep.

GET YOUR NAILS DONE AT HOME

Find a manicurist who does home service. If you can’t go to the salon as often as you want, then have salon services in the comforts of your home. If they could, then ask for a foot spa, too. This is great especially if you don’t have extra time to visit the salon, or if distance is a factor. It’s just nice to have someone else handle your personal needs as simple as getting your nails done.

WEAR A NEW HAIRSTYLE

You know how we ladies get a haircut or a new hairstyle whenever there’s a change in our life. Now’s the perfect time. Get a new hairstyle to fit your mom lifestyle and identity. Mine was inspired by Maricar Reyes-Poon. Choose one that makes you feel beautiful, confident, and happy. A happy mom and wife means a happy family.

WINDOW SHOPPING ON ONLINE STORES

I’m not really the type to do shopping when I’m stressed but after giving birth I really enjoyed browsing and buying stuff from Lazada. There’s even this joke on how they say breastfeeding your baby is cost efficient, but you actually spend more because you end up shopping online. So just be watchful of your budget. It’s nice to do online shopping because it’s easy and it feels good when the delivery arrives.

You don’t need a full day to make momme time happen. Even a few minutes will actually do. What’s important is you do something to give yourself a break and that will make you feel good.

Would love to hear other easy-to-do momme time activities. Share it by leaving a comment below.

How to not feel bad for being a stay-at-home mom

It’s the first time after graduating college in 2009 that I am out of an office job. I chose to be a stay-at-home mom while I help in managing the resort of my husband’s family. It’s challenging, because: (1) I’m still figuring out motherhood; (2) I had to adjust to living with my husband and in-laws in the province; and (3) helping in the resort meant having a new workplace and new workmates. Basically, everything is new to me.

For me, the struggle came more from the inside than any external factor. There’s the clash between what I was used to and this new environment that I’m in. I had to make peace with myself eventually, thanks to these three ideas.

THE DEFINITION OF PRODUCTIVE CHANGED

My day changed from commuting to the office, attending meetings, and doing tasks on the computer to breastfeeding, putting my baby to sleep, and changing diapers. I think they’re equally difficult tasks, but I didn’t feel that I’m accomplishing anything. It’s not like I’m going to make my key performance indicator the number of diapers I was able to change, right? I just had to acknowledge that my primary job now is a mother and embrace it. It meant taking care of a life. I am productive if I am able to attend to all my baby’s needs. It will take a very long time before I can measure my success, which will be based on how she turns out as an adult.  

DON’T STOP TRYING

I have tried the different strategies I know that I used to do at work. I tried to plan my tasks ahead on a planner, a whiteboard, on a laptop. I even tried using Trello again. We’ve rearranged our room several times already, trying to figure out which would be safe for Tala and efficient for us. In fact, we just setup the balcony to be our new work space. I hope it works or we’ll just figure it out again. Point is, everyday it’s like doing a mini process evaluation inside my head and I just re-calibrate tomorrow as needed.

IT’S OKAY TO RELAX

When Tala was younger, I slept whenever she was sleeping, any time in the day. I still do it now from time to time. And it makes me think I’m being lazy. Although I know that it’s actually one of the advice to moms during the first months of their baby, to catch up on sleep because there can be sleepless nights. Still, it made me feel guilty. What I tell myself is if I’m being a bum then this is the first time I’m doing it, because I immediately got a job after graduating. It’s okay to take a break from the employment world. Besides, we carried our babies in our womb for nine months, it’s perfectly fine to relax, focus on the baby, and recover first.

Bottom line is we mothers should not forget to take it easy on ourselves. It’s a difficult job with long hours and no salary. It’s an equally respectable career, and we are very proud of it.