Why I’m happy I got married around my 30s

When I was still in my teens, I said my goal was to be married in my mid-twenties. My girl friends said the same thing. Reaching 25 seemed like a long way to go from back then. Now I am 30 years old. I got married and gave birth last year 2018. I’m glad it happened later. Not only did my mama say the timing was just right, I’m also sure it would have been a lot more challenging for my younger self to adjust to. I can only imagine. It doesn’t mean it’s a walk in the park for me now. I just know that I’m better equipped for this life thanks to a few more years of staying single. 

I’M NOW AN ADULT

I never forgot the idea that the human brain becomes fully developed by age 25. I remember conversations in the past about keeping good attitudes and changing bad ones before you hit that age, otherwise it becomes who you are when you get old. The saying ‘can’t teach old dogs new tricks’ made sense. Getting married around my 30s is great because at least I think I’ve already established who I am as an individual. I’m past the phase of trying to figure out my personality, my beliefs, how I speak, and how I act. I already have a strong foundation. My husband can be sure of what type of person he married and he’s going to live with for the rest of his life. 

I CAN BE A BETTER WIFE

I learned from my mistakes and from others’. I keep in mind the not-to-dos, what-to-dos, what-to-says, how-to-says. Since I’m now older, I got better at not thinking only about myself or what others think of me. I’m done with having relationships based on impressions and I understand deeper relationships that are based on friendship, trust, and respect. 

FROM WHAT IFS TO WHAT’S NEXT

I have 10 years of professional experience. Since I’m a job hopper, I was able to make the most of it. I was able to travel as much as I wanted to as many places I can go to both for leisure and work. I spent nights going out and drinking with friends as often as I could, until shortly before I got married I started to feel like I’m getting old for it. It’s all good memories and no regrets. Now the question I ask is what to do next in my new life with my own family. 

I CAN BE A GOOD MOTHER

I can never claim to be perfect. But I’m confident that at this age I am more capable of raising a child. I’ve grown smarter and wiser thanks to my experiences, so that I can make good decisions concerning my baby and give her proper guidance. I’m making it my goal to raise my children to be good citizens who have the right values and can contribute to the betterment of our society. 

I’m happy time was able to prepare me to becoming a wife and mother, and whatever life is going to throw at me next. It’s a continuous learning experience. Now at 30, for me, it’s just a good time to start.

Things to do for MomME TIME

Mommy time, does it exist? Having a baby means I don’t get to decide what things to do and when to do them. It all depends on Tala, or if Melo can look after her for a while, or for others if you have another person to handle the baby while you take a breather. Nevertheless, it’s still important to find mommy time even for 30 minutes, to recharge and stay sane.

I’m sharing below my personal list of things I do. It’s worth noting that I’m in the province where the mall is 3 hours away, and we don’t have the other conveniences that city living has. Good thing these are simple activities, doable whether you are in the city or in the countryside.  

TAKE A WARM BATH

This can be as quick as 15 minutes that you have for yourself. It’s top on my list, because during the first few months after giving birth, I consider bath time as the only time of personal peace. What I wasn’t able to do that I suggest you try especially if you’re still in the pregnancy stage is beautify your bathroom. Organize it, put scented candles or incense, even have furry rugs or toilet cover. Have a bluetooth speaker handy so you can listen to your music. We always play lullabies on Spotify for Tala, I kind of missed my music so I play it while taking a bath. Invest on a shower heater if you don’t have one yet. The warm water is really very relaxing to the body.

PICK A TV SERIES TO WATCH WITH YOUR HUSBAND

We were able to add to our routine watching 1-2 episodes every night after we put Tala to bed. Sometimes, we just bring Tala with us if she still hasn’t gone to sleep. This is an easy way of bonding with your husband, an activity you can share together and a good substitute to date night. Just Netflix and chill. Plus we sometimes, drink a bottle of beer or two. And we always have snacks prepared.

BUY YOURSELF YOUR FAVORITE DRINK OR FOOD

My favorite right now is milk tea. We don’t have the popular brands available here. I was so glad when a local cafe opened, and it’s selling milk tea. I buy one whenever we do our errands or when we go to church. It’s like comfort food and sort of a reward you can give yourself. If you can’t go out, good thing there are now food delivery apps in the major cities, so at least there’s that convenient option.

ASK FOR A FREE MASSAGE OR DO A SELF-MASSAGE

Ask your husband for a massage. With all those muscle pain you’re experiencing, you deserve it! The physical touch is also important and beneficial for your relationship. On the other hand, I also do self-massage on my shoulders. I discovered a balm for muscle and pain relief on Lazada. The lavender oil truly helps to relax my tensed muscles and get a good night’s sleep.

GET YOUR NAILS DONE AT HOME

Find a manicurist who does home service. If you can’t go to the salon as often as you want, then have salon services in the comforts of your home. If they could, then ask for a foot spa, too. This is great especially if you don’t have extra time to visit the salon, or if distance is a factor. It’s just nice to have someone else handle your personal needs as simple as getting your nails done.

WEAR A NEW HAIRSTYLE

You know how we ladies get a haircut or a new hairstyle whenever there’s a change in our life. Now’s the perfect time. Get a new hairstyle to fit your mom lifestyle and identity. Mine was inspired by Maricar Reyes-Poon. Choose one that makes you feel beautiful, confident, and happy. A happy mom and wife means a happy family.

WINDOW SHOPPING ON ONLINE STORES

I’m not really the type to do shopping when I’m stressed but after giving birth I really enjoyed browsing and buying stuff from Lazada. There’s even this joke on how they say breastfeeding your baby is cost efficient, but you actually spend more because you end up shopping online. So just be watchful of your budget. It’s nice to do online shopping because it’s easy and it feels good when the delivery arrives.

You don’t need a full day to make momme time happen. Even a few minutes will actually do. What’s important is you do something to give yourself a break and that will make you feel good.

Would love to hear other easy-to-do momme time activities. Share it by leaving a comment below.